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Sunday, 27 January 2013

Dating in 2013 - Your Second Chance?

Congratulations we made it past the end of the world; well past the end predicted on the Mayan Calendar. Although pause for a moment and imagine if it was the end of the world and you died alone?....

I guess if the world had exploded in one enormous bang it would have made no difference. You would have simply shaken off your mortal coil along with 7 billion other humans. On the bright side we would have avoided all that bullying cunningly disguised as advertising for things you must buy at Christmas. Rubbish that lasts as long as snow on a busy city street.

However consider if it the end of the world was drawn out over a few days, or weeks? Would you have preferred to see those final day out on your own, or with a loved one?

If your answer is the latter, then NOW you have a second chance, unlike the guy that used to print the Mayan Calendars. The world did not end, we are still here in 2013, and it can be a new beginning for you love life.

Most of us start each new year with a new year's resolution that we try to keep. Most of us fail. So get a grip and take control. If you want to find a new love in 2013 put yourself out there. Join a dating site, or if you're fed up of staring at computer monitors, go hang out in a bar, read a book in a coffee shop or simply walk the long way round your office on the way to lunch and see who you meet.

The Mayans were not the best at predicting the future, but I'm going to have a go... if you don't take control of your love life no one else will!

Have a wonderful 2013.

Tell me what you think?

Sunday, 2 September 2012

Writing A Good Chat Up Line For Internet Dating

Great chat up lines spoken in a bar are different from great chat up lines posted through a dating site. Why?

Well firstly in the bar situation you need confidence, then a degree of charm and good looks are also a bonus. With those foundations in place the chat up line could be pretty much anything funny / complimentary / cheeky. You get my drift.

When using an online dating site you can read profiles and see photos online. You can get a feel for that person you are about to contact. More importantly you have time to prepare your first icebreaker message to ensure you make that great first impression.

Don't copy and paste a generic message e.g. "I think you look amazing and would like to meet. Click on my profile and message me if interested". This is not going to work.

So what is the best chat up line to use? Well there isn't one magic ice breaker that will work on every person. But the secret to establishing a conversation is to keep it relevant and sincere. Be sincere and ask a question about something that piqued your interest when you viewed their profile. If nothing stirred your interest then don't waste your, or their, time. I mean, seriously, why would you think it cool to contact someone who you find of no interest? Is it because their profile picture was hot? In which case please get in line with all the other optimists hoping for a miracle.

Writing an interesting profile takes time, and can be a little nerve racking. A persons dating profile is posted to help you break the ice. So read what is posted. Try to understand the person behind the words then reply by:

1: Introducing yourself, tell them your name
2: Mention what you find interesting about their profile
3: Ask a relevant question. People love to talk about their interests, so instigate that opportunity.

Your icebreaker message is your opportunity to make a first impression. One of the benefits of using any of the sites is they allow you the chance to send free Icebreakers. So what are you waiting for?

Tell me what you think?

Saturday, 1 September 2012

Paid Dating Sites

Paid dating sites offer more quality than free dating sites? Discuss....

Well I recently wrote about the pros and cons for free dating sites and I touched upon an aspect of the two dating models that I believe need further exploration.

How Much Would You Pay For A Good Date?

Think about it: You meet someone online, you get dressed up, book a taxi, go for a meal, a few drinks etc. and voila you've spent a boat load of money on a night out with someone you may or may not see again.

Now if the person you meet is not willing to pay a dating site for their professional internet services what does that say about them and their commitment to finding a new partner?

Each to their own, but that last question is one that stuck in my mind, and when you look at it that way perhaps you will gain a valued perspective.

Tell me what you think?

Friday, 31 August 2012

Free Dating Sites - Value for Money?

Enter "Free Dating Sites" into Google and sit back. 140+ million results. With a world population of almost 7 billion that works out at only 50 people per link. Surprised? Actually statistics are great, you can take any number of results and come to one conclusion or another. I did.

So how much value will a free dating site really provide?

Well the answer could be zero or it could be "it gave me the world". If you are looking for that special someone then by definition you are looking for one person. If you truly believe you get what you pay for, then you will probably find that special someone on a paid dating site.

Your decision to use free or paid dating sites will ultimately result in a more compatible match. By this I mean if you are the type of person that only wants to use free dating sites then you will choose a site and that site will match you with other singles who also believe in using free dating sites. You will have something in common before you get started. On the flip side if you choose a bespoke paid for dating site you will be introduced to potential partners who will also consider paid for sites as being better value.

Some advice about choosing free dating sites:

Ensure they are completely free:

If they advertise a totally free service then there is no reason to provide your financial details. Keep your bank details and credit card details private.

Check Out Reviews:

The web is full of user forums and review sites. Google any dating sites you are thinking of joining and see what users are saying.

Enter the following search term:

"" +reviews +scam

Replace the web address shown above with the web site of your choice.

Stick with the big sites

Use the established free dating sites. Check out the number of members they have. But don't be surprised if those numbers include a few made up members or scammers. You need to accept that free dating sites will attract people from all walks of life.

Keep Your Personal Details Private

Keep your real name, address and personal details private until you are totally sure you are ready to divulge them.

I know most of the aforementioned advice is obvious but it harms no one to repeat the obvious.

Tell me what you think?

Thursday, 30 August 2012

Dating on Facebook

We all know facebook, and all our friends know facebook,.and all our friends' friends know facebook. So why not use use our social networks to date?

Now I sense you're all thinking "no chance". Why? Well it's simply because statistically when you start dating you will meet a few toads before you meet your Prince. Or as some of my male friends would say "there are just too many bunny boilers on line".

It is basic human nature to meet prospective partners, weigh them up and decide whether to develop the relationship further. Do you really want to air all that in public?

Those that really know you, your close friends and family, are always going to be welcome into your private live but how many of your facebook friends truly fall into that category?

Armed with the realisation that some dates will indeed falter, perhaps it's best to keep them away from your public facebook profile. Some people may not be too keen to be dumped or jilted, and the last thing you want is unwelcome posts appearing on your facebook page. Imagine your mums face when she reads how your ex date rated you based on the previous evening.

Nearly all on line dating sites provide anonymity and this part of the service should be used until you're confident that your potential date is not the putting a kitten in microwaves type.

I know many of you may think that facebook allows you to block visitors and delete posts but I personally have a hard time working out how to control my privacy settings on facebook. No sooner do I think I have a handle on it then those nice people working for Mark Zuckerberg change the layout and I'm back to square one.

Keep your "freak filter" on at all times. I'll let you know when facebook adds that option.

What do you think?

Friday, 11 May 2012

Kissing On Your Date

  • Prepare your lips: You can only be a good kisser with soft, supple, relaxed lips. Regular peeling removes dry skin (there are lip peeling creams you can buy for this), lip balm makes your lips soft (ideally, use an unscented, neutral balm), and facial exercises relax your muscles (the same type as the exercises you do to warm up your vocal chords before a concert).
  • Fresh breath: Similarly, you can’t be a good kisser with bad breath. Brush your teeth regularly, especially just before a date, and also clean your tongue and use floss. Chewing gum or mints keep your breath fresh on the go. Only eat garlic if your date is doing the same, otherwise avoid at all costs.
  • Read the body language: There are conscious and subconscious signals that signal that a person is ready to kiss: open body language, turned towards you, hands touching body or hair, etc.
  • Move closer:If you feel that your partner’s body language looks inviting, you can slowly reduce the distance between you and begin to touch casually – at first, by lightly brushing a shoulder or knee in conversation, then by holding hands or a similar, affectionate gesture. Should your partner pull away at any point, keep your distance.
  • Initiate the kiss: If the reaction is positive, however, you are ready for the kiss. Lean in carefully and slowly, tilt your head slightly to one side (most people tend do go for the right) and maintain eye contact.
  • The kiss: The first contact is lip-to-lip, slightly off-centre. For example, you can first kiss the lower lip (softly, not with tense, puckered lips), pull away a little, then kiss the upper lip. After a little while, let your tongue touch your partner’s lips lightly. If the lips open, push your tongue through carefully, until your lips are touching. Keep things interesting by alternating between moving your tongue around, first in one direction, then the other way. In between, return to a kiss on the lips.

Tuesday, 8 May 2012

Soul Mate Or Sex Buddy?

Dating sites ask you to put some heart and soul into your on-line profile, but before you do take a moment to think about your what you want first? Your singles profile is your passport to a new relationship and it should be tailored with an objective in mind.

If you're looking to settle down and find someone to start a family with, then your profile should reflect that objective. A long drawn out description of your likes and interests will not suffice. You are not applying for a job, but perhaps that analogy is not too far of the mark. You are advertising a "vacancy" in your life. You have a position that needs to be filled and you are inviting applications. So let any "applicants" know exactly what is required and what you can offer in return.

If romance is not your thing, and you're simply looking for a sex buddy, then that's what you should be saying. Don't beat around the bush trying to make yourself interesting by announcing you like good films, great food, friends and the occasional theatre trip. Guess what? We all like laughing, going out and having fun. Listing generic hobbies and interests does little more than fill up your page with words and characters. So think about what you want out of a relationship before you start typing, then cast your net accordingly.

The art of conversation is a redundant skill if all you want is your  partner's mouth buried between your thighs.

Carefully consider which dating site you need to join. Different dating sites cater for different clientèle. Some are tailored for romance. Some will try to help you get laid. Here ate dating121 we offer completely separate websites that cater for "general dating" and "adult dating". We keep them separate so you can find exactly what you are looking for. Write that perfect relevant profile, post on the right dating site, and dig where the gold is.

Perhaps you're a Jekyll and Hyde character? In which case, write two profiles and use two separate websites. One open sincere profile for addition to a sincere singles site, and one flirty provocative profile for an adult dating website. You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Happy Dating x